Kathem Al Saher, Albniya

Kathem Al Saher

I never post, I know, I am a terrible person. Right now I am in the library, mentally preparing myself for a few hours of studying for my physics exam. It's not a difficult course at all, especially since I took AP physics in high school, but I kinda push this class aside and try to concentrate on o-chem. and genetics. I am definitely ready to be finished with them (although o-chem. II is going to be eleventy trillion times harder...).

I grew up in a small town where we were the only Muslim family, so coming to college and becoming active in MSA has been awesome. But, on some aspects, I feel even more alone. Last year, during Muharram I felt incredibly isolated with no one to commemorate the tragedy of Karbala with me. Now I do not even care. More than anything, I hate that the ummah is so divided, I want us all to accept one another and follow the Qur'an, which tells us not to divide ourselves and that Allah is the one who will judge on that which we differ. The world and its ways are very wearying to me lately. Sectarian division and discord are killing us, killing our humanity and the innocence and hope of our children. I want to do something, but I feel like a lone voice crying out against a torrential storm, and my words are drowned in the wind.

The weight of my sense of responsibility bears down on me. Sometimes, all I can do is whisper, over and over, "HasbiyAllahu wa na'mal wakeel." And, for a few moments, the burden is lightened; I can breathe.

~peace in the middle east~
zayneb

Eid Mubarak!!!

One of the most distressing issue facing Islam, to me, is the division and discord that pervades the Ummah. Yes, the social problems need to rectified; yes, extremism needs to be explicitly condemned. But the thing is, as long as we are all divided and arguing with one another, we cannot even address these issues, let alone take adequate steps to resolve them.Why can't we just respect each other's beliefs? Why can't we listen to the Qur'an when it tells us not to divide ourselves? Why do people care more about the stupid cartoons or the Pope's comments than the multitudinous masses of Muslims living in deplorable conditions? The Qur'an speaks more against oppression and injustice than it does against disrespect to Islam. In fact, it says to NOT argue ceaselessly with those who show such ignorance.Their actions and words in this case barely dignify a response.So let's all just get along and play nicely.

Sooooooooo........it's been forEVER since I posted. I had an excellent, busy summer working and taking a class in addition to the usual things. I started classes again a month ago and am swamped with my premed courses. Organic chemistry and Genetics are trying to ruin my dreams, but I shall, inshaAllah, prevail. Though technically a sophomore, I am a junior in credit hours; I really doubt that I will graduate a year early because I have quite a few classes to take before the MCAT, but hopefully a semester early will be possible. That is actually quite a feat, considering most college students are taking 5 or more years to complete a 4-year program these days. It's just so difficult to take enough hours to graduate in addition to being active in groups and clubs and working (and partying, I suppose, for some)....at 3:30 this morning I was rudely awakened by what sounded like the screams of Judgment Day, but no- it was about 5000 people on the stairwell having a party with blaring music. I didn't even try to ask them to carry their merry-making elsewhere, I just called the police. Anyway, homework calls. Ramadan Mubarak everyone!

The End is Near!

Three more finals and I shall be done with my first year of college. Hopefully, I will be able to graduate a year, or at least a semester, early. Then it's off to med. school, assuming I get through the MCAT unscathed.......... that is looking far ahead, but OU has been an excellent experience so far. High school got old rather quickly, and though I enjoyed the atmosphere and camaraderie of my AP classes, graduating was a pleasant release.... Now, back to studying; I have a chemistry final on Monday and don't fancy spending my entire weekend devoted to it, as I will be moving most of my things back home on Friday.

To Wed or not To Wed

I am no longer a teen and it seems that every time I turn around someone is asking me if/when I am going to marry or says something like," InshaAllah you will marry a good man,".....my little sisters, my aunt, strangers at the store....Most days I feel pretty indifferent towards marriage, then sometimes.... I know that it's something I want, but it's just hard to imagine how it'll work out. Maybe I am kinda stuck on the Western mindset, because part of my ambivalence is that I don't LOVE anyone, so how can I consider marriage? Now I know that it takes more than love, just look at the 60% divorce rate to see where True Love leads. There's also the education/career issue. I am gonna be in school for at least 2 more years, then there's med. School, then a few years of residency. Now, assuming that my marriage is blessed with children, what shall happen then? I was reading someone's blog and she was talking about how she homeschools her kids and how wonderful it is, and I thought, "I want to do that, oh, wait, I am going to be a doctor, how will I ever be able have to time to raise my kids, let alone homeschool them?" So now it's the Mommy War. Anyone who knows me is aware of my great love for children, I just cannot get enough of babies. I really want to be there while my kids grow up, how can I be a pediatrician, taking care of other people's kids and neglect my own? Ah, I dunno, maybe I am stressing needlessly, not all female doctors are childless, right?......anyway, it is time for bed, I just have to trust to Allah that whatever happens has a reason.